I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
