is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
