Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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