And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize
