my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
