Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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