spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
love makes seman taste better
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
