remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
