I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
