Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
