I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
