I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm too high and old for this...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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