I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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