no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
