he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
