You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
