That's when you crack a 10am beer
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i came on her dog
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
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