Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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