I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I can text with my tongue
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
