after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
