Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize