I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
