HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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