I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
