I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
