Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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