the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
