i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Lo siento on account of my penis...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
