He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
