Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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