I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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