I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
