I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
