i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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