____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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