this beer tastes like vomit already
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
