Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
