lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize