she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
