well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
