I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
