He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
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we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
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I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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