meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
