ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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