Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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