Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
