we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
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i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
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Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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