The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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