When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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