addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
false alarm. still invincible.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
