who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
