Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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