a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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