Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Randomize
