Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
