we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My balls are so social today.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
