Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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