I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
